Clutter Me Not

Have you ever thought to notice that objects, articles of clothing, bibelots, things remain long after the owner, wearer, user is gone? It may seem a little dark to dwell on the thought, but to me it seems curious. We often subscribe feelings, memories and reminiscences to these things. Such as “this was my mother’s ring,” this belonged to my father, grandmother, etc. We feel a connection to these objects, almost as if they are a part of the person. Imbued with their spirit somehow. They aren’t, of course. I am certainly guilty of sentimental attachments of this kind.

There is a chair in my home that I pass every single day. This chair was in my grandmother’s house, in my mother’s childhood home. When I see it, I think of them, of their lives so many decades ago. I can “see” it in my mind’s eye. Somehow it is comforting. The chair is not my grandmother or my mother, yet it gives me comfort.

The double-edged sword of this anthropomorphism is twofold. First, the ascribing of such characteristics makes a loss of any these objects a source of grief. Secondly, clutter. Maybe this is just me. But I believe I have every piece of construction paper that my children put a crayon to. I have every letter, card and note my mother ever sent me. I love seeing her handwriting. I love remembering my children’s attempts at drawing. You see the problem here. How to cull?

I am not a hoarder but how to live a freer life? I love the idea of fewer possessions, of not being weighed down with things. So, I’m a work in progress. Wish me luck. But don’t be looking at that chair.

ELEANOR OLIPHANT- JULY 2018 BOOK SELECTION

Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine by Gail Honeyman is unlike any story I have read. Wholly original, funny, sad and surprising, the author invites us into Eleanor’s world and we experience it with her.

Eleanor, the titular character is a loner in the truest sense of the word. Although she works and lives in a metropolitan city, she has only the most cursory contact with others. She tells us she likes it that way. She works, has pizza and vodka on the weekends (to the point of passing out) and talks with her mother once a week.

Eleanor’s lack of social skills makes us cringe but also laugh. There is an Asperger’s-like quality to her interactions, but one suspects early on that this is because she never learned these skills rather than as a result of an organic condition. Her avid intellect is hampered by a complete lack of common sense. Gradually, we learn of her disturbing past.

A chance encounter disrupts her regimented life and causes her great distress. Reluctantly she allows herself to experience new interactions and begins to change. It should be said that this is not a love story in the traditional sense. It’s a story of possibilities, unimaginable loss and transformation. I loved this novel from beginning to end.

Highly recommend.

Les Beaux Oiseaux

Les Beaux Oiseaux. The Beautiful Birds. Ornithology. One of my favorite things. The scientific study of birds. For me, it’s really just a love of watching birds. It is quietly meditative to observe them eat, fly, splash in a birdbath, groom. Serene, artless and calming.

When I was in college majoring in Biology and minoring in English (not a popular choice in the Biology Department, but perfect for me), I needed a zoology credit. Choosing Ornithology was a decision that became a lifelong pleasure.

For the final exam we met the professor in a cemetery at dawn. Not as strange as it seems. Far from being a creepy, dark place full of ghosts, it was radiant and green and full of light and life. Vast stretches of grassy slopes, lakes and huge, ancient trees gave it a mystical quality. The birds were up early, singing their hearts out and swooping from branch to headstone, to branch. Herons stood on one leg and dipped their bills to drink from the still, glassy water’s surface. It was not easy to find everything the professor pointed out, but it was fascinating to try.

Not too long ago I found a wonderful free App called Merlin Bird ID from the Cornell Lab, a research and conservation organization that allows you to identify birds in the field by entering size, color, location, etc. Wonderful.

I’m truly a nerd at heart and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Painted Bunting- Davesgarden.com

I know, right?

And...

Photography by Achmad Munasit aka "asit"

THE GOOD HOUSE- JUNE 2018 BOOK SELECTION

Sixty-year-old Hildy Good is the most successful real estate agent in Wendover, Massachusetts. She is a mother, a grandmother and has a reputation for being a witch. She claims it’s only her acute observational skills, but she is in fact a descendent of Goody Good, a woman accused and hung at Salem.

Hildy is the narrator of The Good House by Ann Leary and makes a laconic, dry, funny observer of the characters in her town. She is also a raging, secret alcoholic in complete denial. At the insistence of her daughters, she once entered rehab, but has since fallen off the wagon and it’s beginning to show.

Affairs, parents coping with difficult children, eccentric townspeople and a nostalgic look back at a summer romance entertain and intrigue but we know a serious fall is coming. This is an excellent view of the mind of an alcoholic. Entertaining, sad, informative.

Courage

It takes courage to get through this life. Even with an embarrassment of riches: family, looks, shelter, food, spiritual belief and strong relationships. Even with all of that, it’s not easy. It’s so evident when we see the tragic stories of those who seemingly have everything. So, does it come down to courage or some other indefinable quality? What is called inner fortitude?

There are those in my immediate circle that have had, and continue to have, unimaginable challenges; physical disabilities, deeply troubling medical problems, family tragedies, premature deaths; situations too troubling to conceive. How do they do it? Where do they get their strength? How do they cope? No one knows anyone’s dark night of the soul and we can never really see the struggle. But something gets them through.

It has been said that the original meaning of Courage comes from the Latin, meaning "heart." Brené Brown says the original meaning was to “tell the story of who you are with your whole heart.” That seems right.  

I wish I knew what it is. I wish I understood it. I know I admire it immensely. It helps me shrug off petty problems. I think it’s important to identify what you conceive of as your purpose. Your “heart,” if you will. If you are not sure, continue to look for it. When you do find it, you will know. Grab it. Hold on to it. Get on with it. No whining.

Courage.

THE CUKOO’S CALLING-MAY 2018 BOOK SELECTION

Detective Comoron Strike is down on his luck, to put it mildly. A former war veteran and military investigator, he has a nasty breakup with his longtime girlfriend, is being hounded by creditors, is homeless and sleeping in his office. To add insult, he lost a leg in an explosion during his service in Afghanistan and is in constant pain. This is our introduction to one of the most interesting characters since Lisbeth Salander of The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo.

The Cukoo’s Calling is the first crime novel in what is now a three-part series (soon to be four) by Robert Galbraith. Mr. Galbraith is the open-secret pseudonym of J.K. Rowling of Harry Potter fame. I have never read the Potter series but of course know of its popularity. At the time it was released I was working on part three of my own fantasy Middle Grade series and did not want to be influenced. (I needn’t have worried. :)

Strike is about to have a sea change. He is approached by a wealthy client who wishes Strike to prove that his famous sister’s death was not a suicide as was reported. On the same day, he hires a temp to answer the phone with no hope of paying her. Both events alter his trajectory.

Galbraith/Rowling hits it out of the park with this book. Fast-paced, suspenseful and fully literary, I loved every page. By the way, while researching Galbraith I learned that there is about to be a TV series based on this book called Strike on BBC. Woot!

Highly Recommend.

Stay Curious

One gift I would give my children and those that come after is the gift of curiosity. Have you noticed that children are endlessly curious about anything and everything? They are constantly growing, not just physically but mentally. Every single day brings something wonderful, something new. They set a good example.

Life can be a long haul for many of us and it’s hard not to be jaded, indifferent and complacent. And if not one or all of those, at least boringly, increasingly pragmatic. It’s perhaps good to be practical about paying bills, getting groceries in the house and planning ahead when it affects well-being, but otherwise, not so much.

There are so many things I am curious about, so many things I want to know. For example: the names of birds (I know, nerdy, right?) and what their individual songs sound like; the work being done on the human genome by the Crispr and how extraordinary the implications of that technology; the discoveries being made of deep space; the very real possibility of self-healing, not to mention the healing capabilities of others that we can’t yet explain. I could fill volumes with what I wish I knew and understood.

I recently spent some time with someone who believes they have all the answers about everything. They are relatively young but very closed to new ideas. Especially those ideas that challenge their opinions. I would laugh if it wasn’t so sad. What a waste to not be open.

So if there is wisdom here, it’s this: there is no excuse to ever be bored. No excuse to close yourself off. If you are bored or closed off, there is something else going on. We are all information seekers. Look at the phones glued to our hands. They are splendid technology but there are other ways of learning. Observe, converse, read books, go to lectures, listen to music, learn a new language, watch a program about something you don’t understand. 

Stay curious. Always.

MIDNIGHT AT THE BRIGHT IDEAS BOOKSTORE: A NOVEL- APRIL 2018 BOOK SELECTION

Midnight at the Bright Ideas Bookstore by Matthew Sullivan was an Audible book discovery. It’s a perfect blend of unique story, character study, hair-raising suspense, and murder mystery.

Lydia Smith lives a quiet, understated life by design. She likes it that way. Working in an independent bookstore, the eccentric clients have become her family. When one customer takes his life in the bookstore, there are many unanswered questions. Inexplicably he left all of his scant belongings to her. Lydia discovers that there are clues about his life hidden among books in the bookstore and in his possessions. Her investigation into his death leads her into her own disturbed, violent past.

This story is tight, well-written, and beautifully paced. Matthew Sullivan has won awards for his short stories and it is evident why. This is his first novel.

I have to say, I am totally in love with Audible Books. I can keep a hardback or paperback on my bedside table or use a kindle when I travel and want lightweight and portable. Then, I can listen to Audible when I walk or via Bluetooth when I drive. It’s book-lover’s heaven.

Highly Recommend.

Sustenance

How do you nourish yourself? It occurs to me that we spend the major portion of our lives doing every day, sustainability tasks. Things like doing laundry, cleaning house, going to and from work, checking email, texting, doing bills, working… however that looks for you. You get the picture. We all pretty much do all of these things. While these tasks are arguably necessary and provide a sense of order and security (and hopefully you like your job), they are peripheral in providing real nourishment.

The kind of nourishment I’m speaking about comes from being still, watching a spectacular sunset, watching a child stack blocks, watching a bird drink from a birdbath. Just breathing, noticing life around you; the color of a wildflower, the grace of trees, how the sunlight laces the ground as it shines through leaves; feeling the air on your face; noticing the light on the ocean. Meditating, reading, cooking a colorful meal for someone you love. Dancing, drawing just for pleasure. Too woo woo, you say?

I say no. It’s close to being everything. If not everything, right up in the top five. If this is not your cup of tea, I understand, but I think you’re missing out.

THE MEMBER OF THE WEDDING- MARCH 2018 BOOK SELECTION

The Member of the Wedding by Carson McCullers totally immerses us in the life of Frankie, a.k.a. F. Jasmine, a tortured, bored and dangerously imaginative twelve year old girl on the tipping point of adolescence. Frankie lives in a small southern town with her distant, widowed father who is more an absence than a presence. Motherless, she is raised as best she can by the family housekeeper, Berenice.

Frankie is dissatisfied with everything in her life and longs for change, adventure and a sense of belonging. Her despair and discomfort in her surroundings and mostly in her own skin is so brilliantly rendered by McCullers that it’s painful to experience even as a reader.

Her older brother, who is in the service, is getting married. Deluded, Frankie truly believes he will take her on his honeymoon and then to live with him and his wife. She wants this so desperately that it becomes her reason for living. The novel takes place in the two days leading up to and after the wedding. Days during which Frankie takes unimaginable risks. 

Her lack of self-awareness and unbelievable naiveté makes you squirm. You want to teach her, cry with her and shake sense into her all at the same time. It’s no wonder this McCullers’ work is considered a classic along with the rest of her impressive body of work.

Watch Your Words

Recently, I was reminded once again about the power of words. Once spoken aloud, you can try to take them back but it’s nearly impossible (This is particularly true in this age of digital manipulation and sound bites; but I digress).

Written words have impact, too, of course. We all remember compelling quotes and often use them as beacons for our life path. Sometimes we even hang them on our walls as a reminder. Other’s words, spoken or written, have tremendous power. The strange thing is, while we remember words that soothe, nurture and inspire, we often remember more clearly words of criticism and negation, words that hurt or slight us. “Throw shade,” I think, is the popular, current term.

I remember comments made to me decades ago. I remember the way they made me feel. At times, they still hurt. So hear me out. Watch what you say. Watch what you write. Be sure if you choose to speak, that you understand the meaning of your words. Try to be certain you understand the feelings you are trying to convey.

Too often, we forget to be kind. Be kind.

THE FORGETTING TIME- FEBRUARY 2018 BOOK SELECTION

Reincarnation. Real or not? This is the primary question in The Forgetting Time by first-time novelist, Sharon Guskin. Her primary characters are a once renowned psychiatrist facing a grim diagnosis of aphasia and a mother desperate to find answers to help her troubled four-year-old son.

Dr. Jerome Anderson, gave up a promising career and faced professional criticism in order to pursue and study multiple cases of reported reincarnation all over the world. Anderson’s research time is limited as he was recently diagnosed with a debilitating illness which will impede speech and clear thinking. Having also lost his wife and biggest champion, he is close to losing hope. 

The single mother, Jamie, is struggling to find answers for her son. Noah’s pleas to go home, his, among other things, incapacitating fear of water, and vehement desire to see his “real mother,” has consumed every waking moment. Desperately, she searches on her computer for answers, finds Dr. Anderson’s name, and contacts him.

The story follows their journey to find the truth and in the process uncovers a mystery, a disappearance, and a murder. The novel is beautifully written, often poetic. It challenges you to think about where you stand on this topic. Whether you believe in reincarnation or not, it’s a fascinating read. Interestingly, true-life cases are cited in the novel and taken from Life Before Life: Children’s Memories of Previous Lives by Jim Tucker.

Recommend.

Words for the New Year

Since 2013, instead of making New Year’s Resolutions, I’ve been choosing words for the New Year. So this being my sixth year, I figured it was time for an assessment. The words themselves were written in good faith, and though often remembered; reflected upon even, did not seem to have any power in and of themselves. Sort of like resolutions:)

I still love the thought of it, so I will continue, but will see them as intentions. Sort of Wishes thrown out to the Universe instead of Words to live by.

My Words for 2017 were Yoga and Meditation. I did a bit of both. I found the practice of both equally grounding and helpful. I’m going to keep those in my pocket for this year, but my Words/Wishes for 2018 are:

Write

Health

May you take the time to find your Word/Wishes and have a splendid New Year.

MY ANTONIA- JANUARY 2018 BOOK SELECTION

I picked up and put down a number of books over the holiday season. For some reason I had a hard time finding one that kept me engaged. I finally settled on a classic that I had missed reading. So far, when I choose a classic, I am never disappointed. This was no exception.

This month’s selection, My Antonia by Willa Cather, has earned distinction for a reason. It stands the test of time. This novel is the third part of a trilogy which began with O Pioneers! and The Song of the Lark.  It is considered perhaps Cather’s finest work.

The story is told from the point of view of a grown man, Jim Burden, reflecting back on his upbringing as a ten-year-old orphan in the late1800’s in Blackhawk, Nebraska. Having lost his parents, Jim is sent from Virginia to live with his aging grandparents to what seems to be the edge of the world. How Jim adjusts to his new life and the colorful characters that populate this town, form the focus of the novel. One character stands out, of course, Antonia.

Antonia is a young Bohemian girl (from what is now part of the Czech Republic) a few years older than Jim who becomes his instant friend and almost constant companion. Antonia’s strength, love of life, resourcefulness and positive attitude shape Jim as much as the harsh Nebraska landscape.

What struck me about the novel and has stayed with me is the fact that the problems, realities and characters could be taken from a modern novel. There are philandering husbands, harsh wives, perspicacious, wise women, gossiping biddies, unconventional relationships, humble farmers and scoundrels. The whole cornucopia of human behavior. The era shaped certain repercussions and morés, of course, but how Cather did this is quite remarkable. She made us see the human condition as timeless and universal.

Recommend.

The Chaos Theory

A friend once explained the Chaos Theory to me. In short, the premise is that the natural order of everything is chaos. We, as human beings try to make sense of it all by categorizing, sorting, making lists, naming. In other words cleaning our ever cluttered closets. It makes us feel better. Calmer. More in control.

Ha! Never have I felt the chaos and the resulting anxiety more than this holiday season. Why this is, I’m not certain. I think it might have something to do with having a baby in the mix. Nothing puts you more in contact with being helpless in the face of a whirlwind than an almost two-year old. Pure joy and exhaustion go hand-in hand. You know the saying, “men plan and God laughs?” Well, yes, exactly.

So here’s the thing. I realized that nothing matters except being in the moment. All my good intentions of the past year have been put to the test. Be here. Be now. That’s all that we have. It’s all that matters. Really notice. Savor. Breathe it. It’s gone in an instant.

Happy Happy Happy Holidays.

                                                             Joy... December 2017

THE BEEKEEPER'S APPRENTICE- DECEMBER 2017 BOOK SELECTION

December’s book selection gets highest honors. It was another one of (what is becoming a constant companion) my Audible Book selections. The Beekeeper's Apprentice, or On the Segregation of the Queen by Laurie R. King takes place in the world of Sherlock Holmes as imagined by Ms. King.

A retired Sherlock Holmes has retreated to his country home in Sussex. He is literally stumbled upon by a fifteen year-old girl on the downs. This chance meeting  develops into an unlikely friendship. This young girl, Mary Russell, an orphan, turns out to have extraordinary skills. Skills very similar to those of the great Holmes. Holmes recognizes this and thus begins a mentorship.

The slow development of their friendship and eventual partnership is a fascinating character study. Their first assignment together is a hair-raising, breathtaking mystery that keeps you riveted. Apparently I’m not the only one. I have come to discover that it was named "One of the Century's Best 100 Mysteries" by the Independent Mystery Booksellers Association.

I also came to discover that it is only Book 1 of a series of Mary Russell and Sherlock Holmes adventures. I will be reading and/or listening to more to be sure.

Highly recommend.

Ramanujan

Star Talk on the National Geographic Channel is one of my favorite programs. I  mentioned it before in my December, 2016 blog. It is hosted by astrophysicist Neil de Grasse Tyson and is broadcast from the American Museum of Natural History in New York City. Most recently I watched an episode about Srinivasa Ramanujan, a mostly uneducated Hindu man from Madras, India who, at the turn of the twentieth century, was a self-taught mathematical genius.

A novel about his life by Robert Kenegal called, The Man Who Knew Infinity was recently made into a film of the same name. His story is fascinating. His obsession with Math caused him to actually drop out of college twice. He said his mathematical knowledge, theories, formulas and proofs came to him from his Kuladevata (Namagiri, a family deity) during meditation.

Ramanujan’s passion led him to contact several mathematical professionals who dismissed him as a crackpot. Finally, G.H. Hardy, renowned mathmetician and Trinity College at Cambridge professor, took notice and brought him to England. In a letter to Hardy, Ramanujan had included a pair of equations now called the Rogers-Ramanujan identities. Although he did not understand the equations, Hardy recognized the possible brilliance of this unlikely man. Tragically, Ramanujan died at thirty-two. He left behind three shabby notebooks containing thousands of equations. Among them were a series of special numbers which were the precursor of String Theory and Quantum Gravity (which were not known to exist) along with the identities which are still being studied a hundred years later.

Ken Ono, professor of Math at Emory University was an advisor on the film and had this to say, I paraphrase, “Math progress is usually the result of the work of thousands of people. But, occasionally, the fireball genius of one person propels thought forward.” He is at work with many other scholars trying to prove the Rogers-Ramanujan identities.

The thing that stays with me is how is this possible? Without education, without tutoring, how did this knowledge come to him? He knew things a hundred years before other scholars even dreamed of solutions. There is so much we don’t know. So much we don’t understand. It is a mystery of mind-baffling proportion. And beautiful, yes?

Srinivasa Ramanujan

STILL LIFE & MAGPIE MURDERS- NOVEMBER 2017 BOOK SELECTIONS

I have two new literary passions: Audible Books and Mysteries. Audible books has added another layer to my reading/listening. As if I needed it. So far, I read normal hold-in-your-hands books and books on Kindle. I listen to books on tape or CDs in the car and now Audible books on my phone. Bliss. Tsundoku at its finest. (See my May 2017 blog).

I’ve always loved a good mystery but discovering new authors is a joy. My first Audible listen was Magpie Murders by Anthony Horowitz. This novel is reminiscent of the wonderful Agatha Christie books. A London book editor stumbles on a mystery within her most famous client’s last, unfinished novel. The main character in the novel is a famous, fictional investigator, Atticus Pünd. She is then confronted with the mysterious death of that same client. We are taken into a novel within the novel as we follow the investigation in the manuscript as well as the editor's investigation of her client's suspicious death. We, the readers become sleuths. Well-written, enjoyable listen and delightfully creative.

Recommend.

Read in traditional book form, the second mystery this month was Still Life by Louise Penny. I am, I understand, woefully behind in discovering this author. She has written fifteen novels to date and has won six Agatha awards as well as many other accolades and awards too numerous to enumerate here. I began at the beginning with her first one and was instantly entranced. Her central, repeating character is Chief Inspector Armand Gamache of the Surêté du Québec. 

The action takes place in a rural village outside of the city where a beloved, elderly townswoman is found dead in the woods. Murder or an accident? This is a town where everyone knows everyone else. With deceptive ease, Penny shows how a small village is just a microcosm of the larger world. I am usually good at solving mysteries but this one had me guessing until the end. Inspector Gamache and Penny are divine. I’m hooked.

Highly Recommend.

If It Doesn't Feel Right, It Probably Isn't

I believe in intuition. I believe we have a built-in failsafe regarding our actions, our health, our relationships and thoughts. Over time, we ignore this awareness because, let’s face it, it’s not concrete. We can’t actually measure it. It’s not only lost because of time and lack of pragmatic measurement, but also lack of nurturance, cultural bias and fear.

I invite you to stop for a moment and evaluate where you stand on this. How often have your “inklings,” your “feelings,” your “twinges” of doubt been spot on? Probably like me, you haven’t kept score. But these un-evaluated and undervalued notions are often correct.

We frequently pass it off as coincidence but science is beginning to show we know more than we realize and we control more than we think. The whole science of Quantum Physics is based on the concept essentially that the behavior of matter and energy occurs on an atomic and sub-atomic level. It may follow that as energy, we may source these abilities on a cellular level.  

Look, I’m not a scientist and I know I’m only explaining this in a peripheral way. And not very well, at that. I’m trying to understand this as well, in the most basic sense.

All I’m just saying is pay attention. You know more than you think you do.

There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio,
Than are dreamt of in your philosophy.
- Hamlet (1.5.167-8), Hamlet to Horatio

ANNE OF GREEN GABLES- OCTOBER 2017 BOOK SELECTION

I recently realized that in spite of being familiar with several well-known classics, there are many that I have actually missed reading. So in an effort to “catch-up,” so to speak, I began with Anne of Green Gables by Lucy Maud Montgomery.

I believe I have heard of the story all my life but my first real exposure was with the 1985 television series based on the 1908 novel. I watched with my daughter and we both fell in love not only with the story, but the actors and the dramatically beautiful setting on Prince Edward Island.

I think what surprised me the most when reading was how well the novel holds up. While some of the concepts and language are somewhat dated, overall it stands up well. It is true to the time and place of the setting. The values and integrity of the characters are firm and timeless. If you are unfamiliar with the story, it tells the story of a young orphan girl who finds a family and her misadventures in learning to adjust to her new life. She is full of spark and vinegar, a sort of female Huckleberry Finn. It’s funny, touching and alive with character. Today the book would fall in the Young Adult genre. But truly,  it appeals to all ages. The definition of a classic.

Highly recommend.

Seize the Day

Last weekend I took a road trip to spend some time with my oldest brother and sister. My brother is relocating to be closer to his children and I won’t be able to see him as often as I can now. That being said, it has been a while since we all had time together. We talk on the phone frequently but face-to face doesn’t happen as often. The family is literally spread out from coast to coast.

We spent a lot of time reminiscing and laughing and it occurred to me how much I have missed them. We overall had a very fortunate childhood. Our family was unusually close and has for the most part remained so.

This year has reminded me how important these moments are. Recently, I have lost a lot of friends and acquaintances quite unexpectedly. Many were very young and in my mind, not finished. My friends and I have discussed the fact that the longer we live, the more frequently this will happen. I have had the belief that barring an accident (and maybe even then), when we are finished with what we need to do here, we leave. Maybe that’s a little too metaphysical for many but it makes perfect sense to me.

So seize the day. Now. Be with those you love as often as is possible. You absolutely never, never, never know.