Bucket List

 So much sadness this week. This month. This year. Trying to be upbeat but it’s not easy. On the first day of spring, last Saturday, another good friend died. Not Covid this time but equally surprising and devastating. So fast. Lightening.

Is it too soon to start a Bucket List? Never. Because go*dam*#it, you never, never, never know. Carpe Diem.

So. Here goes. I’d love to see Florence and Tuscany. I’d also love to spend a month with my family in the south of France. There are a lot of places I would love to go as well, but these are at the top. (New Zealand and Nova Scotia come to mind. Maybe somewhere in the Hawaiian Islands?)

Christmas in Kiawah.

See whales in person.

Finish my third book of the Jonathan series.

Read more books.

Spend time with friends.

Family, Family, Family

That’s it. A short list. Maybe I’ll add more later. But this will do.

Cheers.

THE RUIN & TWO MORE MYSTERIES- MARCH 2021 BOOK SELECTIONS

 I’ve been in murder-mystery-reading-mode for the last several months. Perhaps it’s because this genre takes me completely out of the present moment. I’ve started and stopped two other novels (kind of unusual for me, but I simply got bored). I’ve decided to go with my preferences since I choose not to write bad or lukewarm reviews. What’s the point? Authors have a hard enough time being writers; they don’t need my critique if they can’t respond. I’ll leave that to others.

The first two novels are by old favorites, Anthony Horowitz and Louise Penny. The third is by a newly discovered author, Dervla McTiernan.

The Sentence is Death by Anthony Horowitz is the second in a relatively new series. The characters are an irascible, unlikeable, disgraced, former Scotland Yard detective with genius-level skills and a version of Horowitz himself as his somewhat bumbling sidekick. The Horowitz character has been reluctantly enlisted as the detective’s biographer. Good fun.

The Rule against Murder is Louise Penny at her best. Poetic, elegant and insightful, the novel is more than just a murder mystery. The famous detective Armand Gamache is on his yearly holiday with his wife when murder intrudes. A deeply dysfunctional family is holding a family reunion that is anything but. Brilliant character studies highlight and illuminate the human condition. Recommend.

It’s always exciting to find a new author I have yet to read. Dervla McTiernan is a wonderful addition for me to the mystery-crime-detective novel genre. Reminiscent of Tana French but unique in her own right, she proves there is definitely something about Irish writers. The Ruin deftly follows several characters as they intersect and interact over the course of twenty years. The detective, Cormac Reilly, first seen as a young, green officer, encounters a heartbreaking case of neglect, abuse and death involving two children. Twenty years later, he finds himself in the middle of an investigation involving those same, now grown children, and an old friend. Twisty, surprising and satisfying. More Cormac Reilly to come! Highly Recommend.

Reading

 

I have always loved to read but I think now, in this unprecedented time, I find more comfort in reading than I ever have before. I’m sure it is primarily escapism. Many things are comforting, music, nature, talking to family, exercise, my sweet dog, meditation. But I always have access to books. I have read or listened to over fifty books since the beginning of lockdown. Often reading two at a time, while listening to another. A little obsessive, I know. But I’m giving myself permission. It’s helping to get me through. For my husband, who also reads, it’s watching the same movies over and over again. Something familiar. Safe.

We don’t really talk about it, but that’s what it is. Everything else seems to be the unknown. When will this be over? Will I get sick? If I do, would I survive? Seeing the faces of my loved ones. Hugging them. Holding them and not letting go. Travel. Seeing my friends. Dinner with them. Normalcy.

I remind myself everyday how lucky we are. So many aren’t. So many have lost their loved ones. So many on the front lines. Working, working, working to make it better. I do what I can to help. It will never be enough.

I try not complain. So I read. It helps. Find what helps. It’s going to get better.

Sending Love and Peace and Comfort to you.

 

TROUBLED BLOOD- FEBRUARY 2021 BOOK SELECTION

 

I just finished book five in the Cormoran Strike detective series by Robert Galbraith aka J.K. Rowling. At 945 pages, her new novel is not for the faint of heart. Rowling/ Galbraith delivers again. I am a fan of this genre anyway but she never disappoints. I couldn’t stop reading and hated for it to end. Louise Penny and Anthony Horowitz also delight but Rowling/Galbraith is unequivocally the master.

Strike is approached about taking on the 40-year-old cold case of a missing woman. They are already covering a number of cases but intrigued, he and his partner Robin Ellacot take it on. Each character, and there are many, is skillfully drawn. There are deep dives into Strike and Ellacot’s personal thoughts and feelings as well over the year it takes to solve the mystery.

Earlier books in the series are now on television and lose nothing in the transition.

Highly recommend.

Words for the New Year 2021

 

Beginning in 2013, instead of making New Year’s Resolutions, I’ve been choosing words for the New Year. Thanks, Connie! The words themselves are always written in good faith, and though often remembered, reflected upon even, do not seem to have any power in and of themselves. Sort of like resolutions:)

 I still love the thought of it, so this, my ninth year, I will continue the tradition. As I did last year, I will see them as intentions; Wishes thrown out into the Universe instead of Words to live by.

 My Words for this new year are shaped by the political chaos and the pandemic.

 Peace

Family

May you take the time to find your Word/Wishes and have a healthy, happy, altogether splendid New Year.

Some very good ideas…..

 

FAVORITE BOOK OF 2020

 

Maybe in spite of  and maybe because of the pandemic, this has been good year for reading. As usual, more books were read or listened to on tape than I reviewed, but the ones below made the cut. I decided a while ago that I was not going to disparage another author’s work. If I don’t like it, I won’t review it. How to choose? I really enjoyed everything on the list. I was fascinated with American Dirt and its revelations about the exodus from Mexico. I love Anthony Horowitz’s masterful mysteries. The Bone Clocks has made me a forever fan of David Mitchell. I loved them all for different reasons.

 January 2020: This Is the Story of a Happy Marriage- Ann Patchett

February 2020: The Word is Murder-Anthony Horowitz

                        And Then There Were None- Agatha Christie  

March 2020: Ordinary Grace- William Kent Krueger

April 2020: American Dirt- Jeanine Cummins

May 2020: The Distant Hours- Kate Morton

June 2020: Whistling Past the Graveyard- Susan Crandall

July 2020: The Giver of Stars- Jo Jo Moyes

August 2020: The Bone Clocks- David Mitchell

September 2020:  The Dutch House- Ann Patchett & Clock Dance-Ann Tyler

October 2020:  Witches, Midwives & Nurses- Barbara Ehrenreich & Deirdre English; City of Girls- Elizabeth Gilbert; Writers & Lovers- Lily King

November 2020:  In Five Years- Rebecca Serle

December 2020: The Witch Elm- Tana French

 

If I could only pick one to recommend to a friend, it would have to be Ordinary Grace by William Kent Krueger. Beautifully written slice of life in a small southern town interwoven with a skillfully rendered mystery. I’m looking forward to reading more by Krueger this year.

 

THE BOOK OF LOST FRIENDS- JANUARY 2021 BOOK SELECTION

 

This novel by Lisa Wingate is the first selection of my Book Club for 2021. Having read Before We Were Yours by this same author last year, I knew it would be well-written. While I do like historical fiction, it seemed we had read a lot of it during the past year. I was not enthusiastic, but open. The Book of Lost Friends, set during the post-Civil War south and also the present time, was a different iteration of this genre.

Wingate based her idea on true-life ads placed in a newspaper by newly-freed former slaves seeking their lost family members. These stories of loss and separation are heart-wrenching and hard to comprehend. The evidence that this was duplicated at our border just recently does not bear thinking about. The present-day story featured a new teacher seeking to help her lower, socio-economic students of color find part of their history and thus their place in the world.

Three very different women, a former slave, a mixed-race daughter of a plantation owner and the legitimate daughter of that same owner, form the center of the historical story. Due to horrific circumstances beyond their control, they end up banding together to find the missing patriarch of the plantation. With one exception, their strength and resilience form the foundation of their survival.

The modern story follows a teacher in 1987 who, discovering stories of the past, helps her students on a voyage of discovery where they find pride and identity in their own histories. The teacher’s efforts are met with resistance in the small southern town where she is teaching. This resonates with the systemic racism first over one hundred and fifty years ago with the three women, one hundred twenty years later with the teacher. and even now, almost forty years later. Still much to do.

Recommend.

Merry Christmas

 

This is my second attempt at a blog this month. The first was too dark to post. So I’m rethinking and rebooting. I’ve struggled with a number of issues like I’m guessing most people right now. So I’m going to re-focus.

I can’t be with my children or grandchildren this year. To say coming to terms with this has been hard is an understatement. Then I remembered. So many people don’t have this problem because they will never have that opportunity again. As of now, I do. So.

I choose to be grateful that everyone is being careful. I choose to be grateful that everyone is happy and healthy. This is no small thing. It’s huge. I choose to be grateful there is a vaccine on the horizon. So maybe by next Christmas, hopefully sooner, they will be in my arms again.

Merry Christmas with Love.

This painting just made me happy because it looks like hope.

THE WITCH ELM- DECEMBER 2020 BOOK SELECTION

 

Tana French is definitely one of my favorite authors. I’ve read or listened to all but her most recent novel. Set in Ireland, her novels are typically police procedural thrillers centering around different detectives in The Dublin Murder Squad.

My latest read by French was The Witch Elm. This is a slow-burning, standalone novel which shows how one decision, one event, can have a life-altering effect. As a result, the main character, Toby, navigates a series of horrific, sad and morally ambiguous circumstances. The novel deftly weaves the strands of seemingly unrelated events that impact the future of all the characters. French’s novels are not known for easy endings that wrap things up in a tidy bow. Still, this one is quite somber. It explores the darker side of human nature and poses the question of what one is capable of under certain circumstances. This is not a favorite by this author, but I still admire the masterful plot.

French’s most recent novel The Searcher, is also a standalone. I look forward to it. Hopefully it will be a bit lighter.

First Lady

 

One night, before bed, I was randomly scrolling channels. I stopped on a program called First Ladies on CNN. Michelle Obama, one of my heroines, was being profiled. It spoke about the fact that she was the first in the White House to use Twitter. She recognized the power of social media and the written word. Not too long after, the President followed suit.

What I learned then, shook me to the core. First let me say, I do have a Twitter account but rarely, if ever use it. It was suggested as wise as a writer that I do so to promote my work. I also do not regularly check Twitter for the few people I follow.

So, in watching this program, I discovered the vicious, vile and horrendously racial comments that were made on Michelle Obama’s account. I’m not sure why it surprised me so completely but it did. It literally made me sick. Who are this people? What rock did they crawl out from under? What purpose did/do they have except to wound, belittle and spew venom?

I realize that politics is not for the faint of heart. But this? Innocently, I thought this was, with few exceptions, behind us as a nation, as human beings when we elected Barack Obama to the Presidency. Little did I know the poison that would ooze to the surface. President Obama recently said in an interview that he didn’t believe the current President was responsible for the present climate of hate and racism but that he simply has fanned the flame.

I try to stay out of politics on this page but during this recent election that has become impossible. I remember my first encounter with Twitter on a business trip with my husband. A woman was furiously typing on her phone. When asked about it, she said she was updating her Twitter. I asked what the difference was between texting and email. She tried to explain it was for her “followers.” I didn’t get it then. No one really understood the power of social media then. I don’t think the original purpose was to spread hate and misinformation. You would think it would be to spread the truth. Apparently, a concept lost on our current, lame-duck President.

So this is off my chest but still sits heavily on my heart. I think it is up to all of us to fight this poison in any way we can. To douse this flame of unconscionable, lack of humanity. Our votes were just the beginning.

“When they go low, we go high.”

-Michelle Obama

IN FIVE YEARS- NOVEMBER 2020 BOOK SELECTION

 

This month’s book selection was my book club’s choice. We have read several rather heavy-duty, fiction and non-fiction books in the last months and were hoping for a lighter, less serious option. On the surface, In Five Years by Rebecca Serle appeared to fit. This novel turned out to be a surprise.

Initially, the premise seemed fun. A very controlled, tightly-wound heroine falls asleep and wakes up five years in the future. Everything she knows to be true has changed. The next time she wakes, she is back in the present. This touch of magical realism was fanciful and full of promise for a light read. This was not the case.

Try as she might over the next five years, our heroine could not shake her vivid, waking/dream experience. If it was to come true and was a peek into the future, it would alter her life irrevocably.

The novel examines all relationships from friendship and romantic love, to family dynamics. It also examines quality of life, the stereotype of women in the workplace, and death. In short, what we thought would be a simple, easy read was anything but. Well written and artfully rendered. Lesson learned.

Recommend.

The Now

 

Living in the now. So wise. So hard to do. Seriously, though, what choice do we have at this point? We have never controlled the future, but that’s more true now than ever. We can’t change the past. That’s for sure. All we have is right now. Maybe that’s the big lesson in all of this.

My son recently said he was grateful, not for the pandemic, but for the opportunity he has had to be with his one-year-old daughter in a way that would have never happened otherwise. He would have missed so much. So much you can’t get it back.

Prior to the pandemic, our lives had morphed into being constantly on the go. With few exceptions, we were rarely still. I read something recently that talked about “urgent” tasks. That being, I have to go to the grocery, I have to make dinner, I have to do laundry, I have to get the kids to bed, I have to do this report, I have to get to work on time, I have to, have to, have to. The reality is, real living takes place in between these “have tos.”

This month my sister was seriously ill. She could have died. Because of a random circumstance she got help just in time. It wasn’t her time. I was able to be with her constantly for two weeks before her daughter took over. My sister and I had not seen each other in person since last Christmas. We talked frequently on the phone but how could that happen? The pandemic of course. Because I had been quarantining this whole time, I knew it was safe to stay with her. Still. I had lots of things I “had to do.” I figured it out. I chose to be with her. To be in the now. Because at the end of the day, you just don’t ever know.

I choose to be grateful for now. Now is good. I'm going with it.

WRITERS & LOVERS- PLUS TWO- OCTOBER 2020 BOOK SELECTIONS

 

The pandemic has offered time for extensive reading. This month in addition to seven short stories, I’ve read Writers & Lovers by Lily King, Witches, Midwives & Nurses by Barbara Ehrenreich & Deirdre English and City of Girls by Elizabeth Gilbert.

The short stories were in a series offered for free on Amazon Prime. I enjoyed the change of pace but none stood out. Witches, Midwives & Nurses traces women healers back to the thirteenth century. It would be of interest to those interested in the suppression of women in the medical profession. Eye-opening, as the suppression appears to persist to this day.

City of Girls follows a nineteen-year-old girl through her life up until her nineties in New York City. Set beginning in 1940, the main character mainly describes her sexual exploits and her life as a seamstress starting in the theatre. A self-described sensualist, we find the character, interestingly, most intriguing at the end of the novel when she meets her platonic, one true love.

Writers & Lovers is the first novel I’ve read by Lily King. Casey is a thirty-one-year-old aspiring novelist stuck in a job as a waitress and deeply grieving over the unexpected, premature death of her mother. Over the course of the story, she grapples not only with that death, but three lovers, the completion of her novel, overwhelming debt, a precarious living situation and Cancer. It’s little wonder she begins to have panic attacks. King is a lovely writer and makes you care and root for the character while wanting to shake her at the same time.

The Gifts

 

I think everyone is in need of comfort and reassurance right now. The world seems in chaos. Fires, demonstrations, deaths, a pandemic, nasty, unconscionable politics. I for one am longing for peace. Security. Quiet. Solace. A crawl-back-in-the-womb moment.

In some ways I’m just realizing that Nature is my solace. I’ve always known that other than spending time with my family, I’m happiest outside, among trees, flowers, animals, in nature. But it’s still kind of a lightning bolt. Maybe, to my deep sorrow, because I can’t be with my family right now.

Recently, I was watching a program I had taped a while ago called The Whale Detective. I realized my breathing had slowed, I was totally absorbed, fascinated and happy. The ocean, the beauty of the Humpback whales, the people studying them. Everything.  The man who was reporting the documentary had actually had a not-too-pleasant close encounter with a Humpback. One had actually breached and had fallen on his and his companion’s kayak while whale watching in Monterrey Bay. Still he wanted to study them, be near them, understand them. So, seeing whales in person is definitely on my bucket list. Always has been. I can’t imagine anything more thrilling.

Last month, I encouraged myself and you to be patient and to believe in the best outcome. I wish I had some words of wisdom, some reassurance. Something I’m having a hard time with, myself, now. So all I can say is try to find what calms you. Reading, music, video games, exercise, nature, Netflix. Your loved ones. Whatever.

Look for the lesson in this.

Look for the Gifts. They are there.

CLOCK DANCE & THE DUTCH HOUSE- SEPTEMBER 2020 BOOK SELECTIONS

 Two beautifully written novels are my September book selections. I have selected both because they are written about fairly ordinary people and the influences and events that shaped their lives.

The Dutch House by Ann Patchett tells the story of a brother and sister raised in wealth and privilege whose lives are altered irrevocably with the second marriage of their father. Although this is not my favorite Patchett novel, I would not have wanted to miss reading it. What is of interest and fascination is the examination of how one event can impact choices and life direction. The brother and sister in many ways remain stuck in the past, spending many days sitting in front of their childhood home, The Dutch House. Although they were forced out, they never really leave it behind.

Another favorite author, Ann Tyler, creates a similar theme in Clock Dance. The difference is more than one event arguably shapes the main character’s life. The story is written in sections and follows Willa from childhood, through early college, middle age, then late adulthood. Deeply passive, Willa puts everyone else’s needs before her own and allows others to shape her choices and thus her future. Once, having had a gun pressed into her ribs, she even allows others to dismiss it. 

Each section reveals a moment that becomes a crossroad that dictates her path. In the last section, the character, nearing old age, finally makes a choice that dramatically alters her final days. The novel poses interesting questions about the nature of fulfillment and how we shape our destiny.

It's not the deer...

“It’s not the deer crossing the road, it’s the road crossing the forest.”

It’s up for debate who this quote is attributed to. I’ve read alternately the Dalai Lama, someone named Chiki, and also Muhammad Ali. It may be someone else altogether. It could just be Universal Mind. Regardless, I found it profound. The simple theory would be, what was there first? The road or the forest?

This has been helpful to me in this turbulent time. This virus, these fires, these hurricanes, these demonstrations, these politics are all roads crossing the forest. At the risk of sounding esoteric, it seems simple. The earth has an incredible proficiency for healing. People, too. The earth has native intelligence. People, too. The earth will survive in some form. People, too.

I have faith in the beauty, goodness and resiliency of the earth. People’s, too. I lost a good friend this week. We had to attend his service virtually through live streaming. A song was sung beautifully, a cappella. Love is here to stay.  I wept. The world turns, I go on living, as does his family. His road ended. Just this time. But his integrity, kindness and intelligence nurtured the paths he crossed and the people in it. That doesn’t disappear regardless of the tumult around us. Not all roads are bad. Keep perspective. Be patient.

THE BONE CLOCKS- AUGUST 2020 BOOK SELECTION

This is my first read (listen) by author David Mitchell, best known for Cloud Atlas. The only downside I can see in the Audible form is the difficulty of going over chapters and passages again at your leisure. It might be nice to have the written form for that purpose.

I have to say this novel was completely captivating. It was challenging, not only in its format but also in its philosophy. I’m not sure if its message is Mitchell’s or simply a brilliant fantasy premise, which speaks to the skill of his writing.

The novel is broken into six interwoven sections running from 1984 to 2043. There are five, first-person point-of-view narrators. The one thread which connects them all is the character of Holly Sykes. We meet Holly at a naive, rebellious fifteen, trying to navigate a betrayal. The second character, Hugo Lamb we meet as a shallow, unethical university student. The third, Ed Brubeck, is a war correspondent trying to balance family and his love of his work. The fourth is Crispin Hershey, a famous writer, bitter and past his popular prime. The fifth is Marinus, an ancient being whose multiple lives span centuries. The sixth and last section brings us back to Holly at age seventy-four trying to make sense of a very different world.

This masterfully plotted fantasy is unlike anything I have read before. I give it high marks. I’m a new Mitchell fan.

Highly recommend.

5 Minutes

I have been filling my days with doing laundry, dog-walking, grocery-shopping, cleaning, deleting emails, listening to books on Audible and cooking. Nights are filled with Netflix et al. and reading. Most of the daily above are essential, things-we-have-to-do-to-survive activities. Goddess forbid I should try to get in excellent physical condition or accomplish something like organizing a closet. That seems to be the frame of mind I’ve been in without realizing it. Just get through it. Do what I have to do to be safe and get through it. The minutes, hours and days just slide into one another. All looking basically the same. We are so fortunate to not have lost income. I do realize how incredibly lucky that is. But still all I think is: when will it be over, will it ever be over, when will I see my children and grandchildren again, my family, my friends. When. When. When?

My extraordinary daughter reminded me of something the other day. She reminded me that none of those activities, while essential, do not feed the soul. (Well, maybe reading.) She had read somewhere or heard that it was important to try to take just five minutes a day to do something that enriches. That feeds the soul. That expresses your creativity. How long had it been since I had done that? Except for this blog, a long, long time. It just seemed too overwhelming to try to take something on at this time. If I’m honest I felt that way before the pandemic. It felt like diving into the wave of a tsunami. But five minutes. I could do that. Anyone can do that, right? The parameters were easy. Not diving just wading for a bit.

I wrote a blog a long time ago about just showing up. That’s the same concept. Just show up. Five minutes. I can do that. My daughter is the only one who never lets me forget my creativity. She never lets me coast. She is the only one who asks. For that, I am so grateful. She is the pebble in my shoe. My extraordinary son reminds me to not let my physical being deteriorate. Both are necessary. One feeds the other. Maybe I will manage to do something to make them proud.

THE GIVER OF STARS- JULY 2020 BOOK SELECTION

British born Alice Wright marries a handsome American and moves to rural Kentucky believing she will escape the home and cloistered existence where she was never accepted. She seeks to find happiness, belonging, excitement and adventure in a new life full of endless possibility.

Set in Depression-era America, opportunities were rare and especially so for women. Alice finds she has escaped one prison for another until she hears of an organization that came to be known as The Packhorse Librarians of Kentucky.

This idea was the foster child of the indomitable Eleanor Roosevelt. It created traveling libraries populated by women who traveled by horse, mule and cart to rural areas to bring literature and thus an opportunity for education to those unable to have access any other way.

This story illuminates a previously unknown (to me) true account of the accomplishments of these women, their bravery, grit, friendship and hope.

Highly recommend.

The Giver of Stars

Hold your soul open for my welcoming.

Let the quiet of your spirit bathe me

With its clear and rippled coolness,

That, loose-limbed and weary, I find rest,

Outstretched upon your peace, as on a bed of ivory.

Let the flickering flame of your soul play all about me,

That into my limbs may come the keenness of fire,

The life and joy of tongues of flame,

And, going out from you, tightly strung and in tune,

I may rouse the blear-eyed world,

And pour into it the beauty which you have begotten.

                                             - Amy Lowell - 1874-1925

Born in 1874, Amy Lowell was deeply interested in and influenced by the Imagist movement and she received the Pulitzer Prize for her collection What's O'Clock.