Paulo Coelho

Imaginings

I find myself on a journey. I’m not sure if it could be called a spiritual journey, a physical journey or an intellectual one. It seems to have elements of all three. I find myself seeking out teachers by listening to lectures given by speakers of all kinds.  Poets, writers, spiritual gurus, self-help coaches, financial planners (!), you name it, I’m interested.

The most interesting thing I have noticed is that almost everyone has similar themes. It’s as if they are all using the same primer so to speak. Be true to yourself, be still and listen, be present, be aware, live in the moment, but plan for the future. They all suggest “active imagining”. Whether it’s planning your financial well-being or creating your wildest dreams. They seem to be saying, if you can imagine it, you can make it happen. Okay. Really? It’s like the quote from the old movie Field of Dreams: “If you build it, he will come.”(Often misquoted as “they will come.”). But you get the idea…if you put your hopes, your dreams, your imaginings out into the Universe (I capitalize on purpose) it/they will magically appear. In the case of financial planning saving dollars actually does add up, no magic in that, but don’t strain at a knat.

The good thing about this is my intellectual curiosity is at full tilt. I haven’t felt this excited and stimulated by ideas since I was in college. It’s thrilling, really. The problem is finding someone to discuss it with. Most people still find all of this kind of talk “woo-woo” in the extreme. I’m not sure exactly why. It’s probably because it can’t be measured scientifically. It’s like the old creation debate. Is it the biblical rendering or evolution. I say, why can’t BOTH be true?

The absolute truth is, I don’t bring it up. I don’t feel the need to defend, if that be the case or convince. Just good old-fashioned conversation would be nice. A what-if kind of scenario.

So. What does it hurt to create by imagining? It doesn’t suggest sitting on one’s posterior and waiting. It does suggest we have, according to quantum physics, the power to create our own reality. Maybe it’s as simple as positive thinking, maybe it’s something more mystical. Whatever it is, it sounds good to me.

 

What an extraordinary creature.
Heartbreakingly beautiful.
He's on a journey, too.

 

 

This Beautiful Moment

There is a plain wooden sign posted in a park in California. It says: This Beautiful Moment. That’s all, just: This Beautiful Moment.  I saw it on the blog: So Much Beauty Here: http://somuchbeautyhere.blogspot.com/

For some reason this resonated for me. It's what so many of us struggle with every day. It invites the reader/observer to just stop, be still and be. Take it all in. This beautiful moment. That’s all. I have this feeling when I read a particularly beautiful phrase or passage in a book, when I see the night sky exploding with stars, when I see colors in a painting that by some miracle render an image, when I see afternoon light across the marshy grassland in the low country of South Carolina, when I hear Rachmaninoff.

It seems we have forgotten how to do this. We have moments, that’s for sure, but children do this as a matter of course. Everything is fresh and shiny. When my children were young, watching them doing and seeing and hearing for the first time was a source of unimagined joy. It was as if I was experiencing it all again for the first time. If there was music they liked they would dance. If there was a dog they thought was pretty, they patted it. If there was chocolate, they ate it. It was simple. No complex moral issues or repercussions, i.e. Will people think I’m crazy if I dance? Will the owner think I am presumptuous if I pat their dog? Will I get fat if I eat that?

If this is all there is, and I’m not saying it is or isn’t, I say, take it all in. Isn’t that the gift we have as artists, or for that matter human beings? Not trying to proselytize. Just saying, savor this beautiful moment.

 

Spring

I missed all of February and here it is almost the end of March! I’ve been editing, editing, editing, writing, writing, writing!!!! It’s been a very productive and creative seven weeks for me and I’m very happy with the results. February has typically been a blue (or gray) month for me, but this year it was full of color!

Still, I’ve thought of the importance of my blog many times. The importance to me, anyway. It’s a place to muse and contemplate some of life’s bigger issues. No mind-blowing, philosophical breakthroughs that the world should know about, but some quiet realizations for sure. We all have those moments of “insight” but they are ephemeral.  A wisp of absolute clarity that is gone in a moment. This blog helps me hang on to those moments, and hopefully helps you, too, Dear Reader. If you are out there, I’d love for you to drop by and leave a word or two. The comment box has magically appeared at the end of each blog now, so you can do so without a hassle.

Okay, so how am I doing on my Word for the year? My words were actually phrases:

Practice being really present

Be in the NOW

Observe the splendor of Timing

I’m trying on all fronts. I am discarding things that make me unhappy for the most part. This is an ongoing battle. For example, I took my eleven year old dog to see the ocean (she had never seen it before) instead of going to a funeral. That was truly being in the now moment and something I had wanted to do for a while. The problem is, I still feel bad about it. Working on it.

My biggest accomplishment by far has been writing fulltime. Every. Single. Day. The joy is immeasurable. Still trying to not feeling guilty about being out in the workforce. Working on it.

 

 

 

TIME

How important is your time? It’s everything, right? Well maybe not as important in the grand scheme of things as say, LOVE or relationships or global warming. But it ranks right up there and overlaps with all the critical parts of existence. Right?

I wish I had come to this realization a long time ago. I guess I was so busy doing or not doing that I didn’t stop to reflect. You can’t get it back. I know there are a lot of things that fit this criterion but there is one really tragic truth. You can’t recover missed opportunities. You can’t undo wasting precious moments on things that don’t matter. So, first of all, No Regrets.

There are a lot of hamstery things that we can’t avoid. Laundry, cleaning, cutting our toenails, ad infinitum… But when there is a choice, and we have this more often than we think…jump off the treadmill of expectation. Your own and other people’s. Maybe you don’t have to go to that meeting about neighborhood drainage problems; maybe you don’t have to have dinner with people who make you want to stab yourself (or them) with a fork. Maybe you can wait to go to the grocery until you are really out of food.

I’ve decided it’s time to spend my time, as much as possible, in doing what gives me joy. Having lunch with people who make me laugh. Ordering take out and not feeling guilty about not cooking. Waiting to do the bills until they are really due and reading a great book or a trashy one instead. Listen to music I love. Not be so OCD about square corners when I change the sheets. I used to joke that what it will say on my tombstone is:

She Did Laundry.

Now I hope it will say (if I even have one):

She Had Joy. She Took Back Her time.

It’s Time.

Timing

Revelations occur at strange times.

Last night I was having a lovely, unexpected dinner with my husband, my son and his fiancé and my daughter and her husband. I was practicing my “being present” mantra from my previous post. We have been at the beach at Kiawah Island for several days for our yearly, holiday get-together. We had planned to have dinner in Charleston at a place we have been many times, good food but kind of a tourist trap. At the last minute, we opted for a new place. The food was wonderful, the atmosphere golden, the wine, conversation and laughter flowed.

I tell you all this because during the course of the conversation the question of timing came up. It had to do with how and why each of us had met our mates. Each couple had a story about the perfect timing of their meeting. Any earlier or later in our lives, would have been too soon or too late. It made me realize that synchronicity may not be just a new-age buzz-word. There may be some Universal Truth at work. I believe that some events are random. I think. But there is indefatigable proof in my mind that there are other forces, be they spiritual or molecular, or both, at work. Furthermore I am convinced that this conversation would not have occurred at the other restaurant. Hmmmm….

So this brings me to my friend Connie’s blog: LOOSE LEMONS. She and a group of friends choose a “word” every year to represent what they want their journey to be for that year. I have been pondering. It seemed a rather significant and overwhelming choice. But now I have it. I confess I have two “phrases” rather than words. Hope that’s okay. First, practice really “being present”. Appreciate the wonder of now. Second be aware of the splendor of “timing”. I’ve given myself a tall order as they say. I’ll let you know how I do.

Happiest of New Years to Everyone.

Being Present

We are in that sweet spot of the holidays between Hannukah or Christmas and New Year’s Day. Time slows down. All the frantic shopping for a tree, gifts, wrapping paper, various accoutrement, baking supplies, groceries has culminated in gift-giving, feasting and celebrations.

Somewhere between -when all the dishes are done and the leftovers are stored safely in containers, the tablecloth and napkins washed and ironed and put away for next year –and- the anticipation of a champagne-fizzled New Year -lies a pocket of time. Christmas-POCKET- New Year’s.

If I could give you a gift, it would be an appreciation of this time. A breath. A sigh. It seems as human beings we are always in a state of either reminiscing about the past or anticipation for the future. I’ve read it again and again from all the master gurus and philosophers, but I’m just beginning to process it. Now is it. This is all we really have. The rest is memory or speculation. Be present in your now. We have the gift of being the observer. I am trying to use it.

Some of my present. My daughter’s face. It fills me with joy. Every time I see it. Every time. My grown son’s little boy cackle. He makes me laugh like no one else. Sitting and looking at the ocean, holding a cup of coffee, my husband beside me.  When I look, I am trying to really see. When I breathe, I am trying to feel the breath.

This is just one moment. One pocket of time that will make memory. My sweet spot.

What are you doing right now? Make it sweet.

Falling Down and Being Thankful

It’s not about the turkey, mashed potatoes and cranberry sauce. At least not completely. Truth be told, I could care less about the food… although I enjoy it. It’s about family. It’s about all the people that move through your life. The holidays make me remember and appreciate. I’m thankful for that.

Each of us, at least once, has had challenges to overcome. Whether they be health-related, relationship related, community related or all of the above. A devastating loss, an impossible decision, something we think we will never get over.  Most of us have fallen down more than once. Literally and figuratively. I’m thankful for that.

I know that sounds crazy. I’m not thankful for the pain, of course not. But for having made it through… more or less intact. I’m thankful for the people that circled me like eagles, protecting me, encouraging me, not letting me hit the ground too hard. Sometimes I have felt completely on my own. But if I am truthful with myself, really I’m not. I’m thankful for that.

There is something in the falling. Every time we get back up is proof that we can. My mother was one of the constants in my life. She is no longer here in the physical sense and although I can no longer hear her voice, I hear her voice. Look for the beauty. Get some rest. Believe it will get better. It always does. Be still. I’m thankful for her.

I’m thankful for a family I can count on. I am thankful for friends that are truly friends. People may disappoint you if you have too many expectations. So here it is. I know I can get up by myself and I know I can ask for help. I’m thankful for that.

I am thankful and honored too, if I can be the eagle for others.

Carl Sagan

Carl Sagan loved books. Not so surprising when you think about it. When I hear about eBooks replacing regular books, it makes me sad. It makes me worry about booksellers, libraries, bookstores. How could something so irrevocably part of mankind be obsolete? Truthfully, I don't think we will ever completely be without them. But although I don't own an electronic device for reading, I choose to embrace them. I expect at some point I will own one. I do love technology and when I am published, I expect I will love selling eBooks as well as paper ones. 

There is something that says to me, books  are like classical music, like long afternoons swinging in a hammock, like sitting on the porch to watch the last rays of sunlight at dusk, a glass of wine in candlelight, those starry universes that Carl Sagan imagined.  Some things should never be given up.

"...Your One Wild and Precious Life"

I read a quote recently that literally took my breath. It gave me a moment of heart-stopping clarity.

I was starting a new book…. Always with pleasure and anticipation…. And this quote was  at the beginning.

“Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?”

Still I can’t read it without being transfixed. I guess all of us are touched in different ways by various things; Things which resonate with us on a primal level. I put the book down. It was all I could handle at the moment. I was full. The quote is from New and Selected Poems by Mary Oliver.

First of all, a while back I created a vision board. On it, one of the things I wanted more of in my life was poetry. I wanted to know more about it, read more of it and be exposed to more poets. Since that time, in the way of the Universe, poets abound in my life. My mother was a gifted, published poet so I had an appreciation for it… just not vast knowledge.  Still my knowledge about it would fit on the head of a pin. Not even. But I love it and I love learning about new poets and old. Their words make my heart sing. They make me see the world with fresh eyes. So there’s that.

So back to the quote. We all have philosophies about life, even if we don’t call them “our philosophy.” It struck me and I do mean “struck”, that this thing we so offhandedly call life, IS a wild thing. A precious thing. And to live without intention is like circling a void.

I have never been sure we only have one shot at life. But I do know that right now it’s the only thing we can be sure of. As a teenager I loved to read Edgar Cayce. I loved his belief that we are beings of light that live and re-live until we get it right. But say, even if reincarnation is real… why would you waste any part of life, whether it’s your only one or your one hundredth? Part of me feels like weeping for the time lost already. Part of me wants to put it right.

So what are you going to do with your “one wild and precious life?”

                                     

  

                                   

Media Epiphany

Okay, so I have had a huge realization. My recent return to the stage and the press surrounding it has taught me something. Never has so much been written about so little. Really. The one-act play I am doing is funny, true. It’s entertaining, true. But articles in every publication in town, constant Facebook advertising, a Twitter account and now FRONT PAGE of the newspaper? Are you kidding me? Suddenly we are sold-out. The playwright, Robbie Robertson, who is also our publicist/media guru, is responsible. He is a master of networking and blitzkrieg.

I have heard for a long time from professionals that getting your work out there into the media, using all formats, is important. You are supposed to create your own stir, so to speak. I resisted this for a good long time. I basically ignored it. I thought, “Who would really read all the hype, anyway?” I guess I am a throwback to Jane Austen. I just wanted to write. Not self-promote. Finally, a full year after a good friend said it was imperative, I created this blog. A slow study doesn’t quite cover it.

What this has taught me is, IT WORKS. Duh. However painful and makes me want-to-hide-under-the-bed-embarrassing, IT WORKS. If you create enough stir people will notice. I wish it was a different world. But it’s not. I still love Jane Austen. What on earth would she have done?

For Jane:)

Fireflies

Okay, so here’s what I have been up to:

These women make me laugh so hard. I come home from rehearsals with a stomach ache. I call this “The Twitty Effect”. Because we may be the only ones that think we are funny! This is another part of my creative self. Acting/Performing. Acting used to be a greater passion for me than it is now. I still enjoy it but to a lesser degree. I would rather be creating stories for people to read than something for them to watch. How this transition occurred, I’m not sure. I do believe that expressing all parts of yourself is a good thing. An enriching thing. One nurtures and enhances the other… if not directly … then by keeping the fire lit. The juices flowing.

I sometimes think of these other adventures as fireflies that tug me away from my true purpose. Beautiful and wonderful to watch. Magical, really. But gone in the blink of an eye.