Land of Milk and Honey

I’m traveling up and down the coast and some inland in the state of California. San Francisco, Winters, Davis, Sacramento, San Jose, Stockton, Sausalito, Salinas, (17 mile drive) Pebble Beach, Carmel, Cambria, Morro Bay and San Luis Obispo so far. A harrowing 100 mile trek down the Pacific Coast Highway night before last night put hair on my chest…. Even though I wasn’t driving. The beauty of California is heartbreaking. It fills my soul in a way no other place does. The closest would be the coast of South Carolina near Charleston. We are trying to decide if it is a fit for us. If the major upheaval required to make a move from the East coast to the West coast would be worth it. Or even doable.

In the meantime I am going to enjoy the sunshine. Let the answers come. I borrowed this quote from my friend, Connie:

"Everything will work out perfectly in the end, if it doesn't work out perfectly, then it is not the end" -Best Exotic Marigold Hotel

 

                                          Pacific Coast Highway- May 2012

Anybody Out There?

Multitudes.

I wonder all the time if all the new technology intimidates anyone else. Is it just me? First it was computers. That was a challenge, but I mastered the basics. Sort of. Every time I talked with someone who knew more than I did (which wasn’t hard), I picked their brain and took notes. In pencil. Remember pencil? I still do that every chance I get. By the way, do you notice that young people, I mean the ones that grew up with computers, are annoyed to show you how do things on the computer? As if your ignorance wasn’t enough of a handicap, you are also made to feel dumb about being ignorant. I want to remind them, that even they had to learn to read from someone. We don’t spring from our mother’s loins with technology implanted. Or reading skills.

Then came email. I stuck a tentative toe in the water and then dove. I loved it. Fast, efficient. A way to get in touch with people and correspond. No fuss, no muss.

Apparently it wasn’t fast or efficient enough. Then came (I’m not sure in what order, so don’t sue me) Websites for Everything!, Texting, Twitter, Blogging, Personal Websites, Skype, Smartphones (what does that even mean?), Cloud technology, Nooks, Kindles, iPads, and on and on and on. I’m sure I’m behind on even naming them.

The point is, I feel as if I have to be a magician to even keep up. But I’m trying. Lord knows. I’m not sure, however, with all of this corresponding and sharing of information… if people are still talking. How’s the art of conversation faring  with the How r u’s and LOL’s? How about handwritten letters? I used to love getting letters. Even a greeting card makes me happy. In the mail. Oh sure, I love to get them via email, but there is something about holding them in your hand. Books, too. I don’t want to be a dinosaur about it but it’s true, there are things to miss. Some traditions worth hanging onto.

Still I’m embracing the change as best I can. Come on…. What’s next? Bring it on.

You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough. - Mae West

I want to live with as few regrets as possible. Once one reaches a certain age, regrets are inevitable, I think. But my goal, from here forward…. is about living consciously. Choosing my path consciously.

There are many times I have felt swept along by the frenzy of life…. Just hanging on by my fingernails in the whirlwind of what others wanted, needed, required. There always have been and will be others who need us to be something we were not created to be. The trick is to gracefully hold fast to your true self. Choose consciously.

Each decision sets us on a path. It has always been fascinating to me to reflect on “the road not taken” (Robert Frost). Not just for me but for friends, family, even strangers. If we knew how we create our destiny with each choice we would probably be immobilized.

I have a friend that chose to go and study Shakespearean acting in London instead of taking a high-profile, high paying job in her previously chosen field. She probably would have been happy either way, but now she literally glows with happiness.

My mother often said she was not meant to be a parent. This was, I think she meant, not her natural inclination. In spite of that, she fiercely became the most devoted, nurturing, loving and unselfish parent I have ever known. It was just my good fortune to be her daughter. But I was also always aware of her deep longing for another kind of life. An artistic life. One unfettered by convention and rules.

I have absolutely no regrets about becoming a parent. It’s true that it shaped my life. But I chose it consciously. I was never the incredible multi-tasking, drive-carpool, fix dinner, help-with-homework, do laundry, do bills and sit-at-the-kitchen-table-and-write-a-bestseller kind of writer. I did all of that but the writing. I focused on my children. I have no regrets about that. What is hard is to shift the focus now that it’s not needed.

Time for me. Time to show up. Time to write.