Living Backwards

 Many of the books I have read and listened to recently and even podcasts have dealt with the concepts of being, consciousness, perception, the vastness of the universe and even quantum physics. Questions are often posed which focus on state of mind and belief systems. Maybe it is a result of getting older and pondering what comes after this but these readings seem to keep falling in my path.

It may be a result of the pandemic and losing so many friends to Covid and to other events and diseases. It may be we attract what we need to hear. One concept which has fascinated me is the idea of living backwards. Bear with me. If you know what you know now and could change past events by reliving them, would you? With age, some wisdom does surface with experience, but would you change your choices? Would you know which ones to change and which to leave alone? Because, after all, the “butterfly effect.” is real.

For example, what if I had made a different choice of city to move for work after college? If I had chosen a different profession? Would I know my husband? Would I have my same children? Would I have children at all? Would I have my lifelong friendship with Gail? Not have my children. My husband. Not have my friendship? Unthinkable.

What I am curious about are the “what if” scenarios. I would love to see a movie reel of various choice outcomes. Scientists say all of these scenarios exist in the quantum universe. Do I want to step in? I don’t think so; I just want to be an observer. I want to watch my various life-choice movies.

What I would like, is to know what I know for sure now, and see how my life would play out. Fun idea, yes? Or no?