Advice to My Younger Self

I know this has been done to death, but I want to do it for myself. So here goes. Here is my best advice, so far (Ha!), to my younger self.

Everything Passes.

I don’t mean to say you forget everything. Quite the contrary. But it does lose the ability to annihilate you. Given enough time, for most things, you gain perspective. Give it time. Breathe.

Don’t Waste your Life.

Okay, I don’t mean you can’t relax and read a book for a day. Of course you can! I just mean, don’t waste time on frivolous time-sucking activities that lead nowhere and literally give nothing back. Some past transgressions come to mind…

Hmmm…. Daydreaming about someone you have a crush on. (I was a lot younger and so dumb). Total waste of time.

Spending the whole day trying to cope with email and/or Facebook. I still struggle with this one. Life was a lot simpler when we didn’t have these distractions. Time yourself. Fifteen minutes a day… just a thought.

Warning: Social Media is coming. Don’t be intimidated by it but don’t be swallowed by it.

Oh, and watch out for TV. There are more and more interesting programs than you can imagine. History, Art, Drama..You will end up watching others do what you wish you could do.

Sometimes, guess what? The laundry can wait.

When you can, Plan Your Day.

This is a relatively new activity for me but it works really well. First I try to do the gratitude practice. You know, say three things you are grateful for. Then, just in your mind, go over what you want to do that day. More often than not, it actually works. You can’t predict unforeseen emergencies, phone calls, etc. but it can give structure. Lists work as well but I have to say, this is better. Otherwise, you will tend to float from one activity to another.

Give Yourself the Day Off Once in a While.

Does this sound counter-intuitive to what I just said? Well, it’s not. Everyone deserves a little free time. It’s hard to come by when you are juggling a job, bills, maybe a relationship, maybe children. But do it. You choose. It could be as nice as a weekend away. More realistically, it could be a day of watching mindless TV. For me, it’s spending a whole day reading.

I said once in a while. (It’s addictive.)

Be Present.

Enough said.

Be Still at least Once a day.

Give yourself a moment with your thoughts when you are not rushing around. It centers you. Sometimes it can be uncomfortable when you realize you are not accomplishing anything, but that’s valuable, isn’t it?

Look Up.

I’ve said this before but LOOK UP from your damn phone, tablet, computer, whatever. The world is really beautiful. Look for it.

Exercise Every Day.

Trying not to proselytize. I don’t do this either. But when I do, I’m glad. My body thanks me. Just a fifteen minute walk will do it. It won’t give you a perfect body but it’s a start.

If At All Possible, Make Your Life’s Work Something You Love.

It will make the difference between a good life and a joyful one.

Surround Yourself With Beauty.

Music and flowers, art, nature… whenever possible.

Be Kind.

Always. It doesn’t matter whether it is acknowledged or not. This may be the most important one.

Pay Attention to Those You Love.

They won’t always be there. You have now.

No Rules.

Strive to be flexible.

The Best Parts Of Life Are All the Little Moments Added Up.

Not only is this true, it’s profound.

FEBRUARY 2016 BOOK SELECTION- BALZAC and the LITTLE CHINESE SEAMSTRESS

As often happens these days, I ran across this book quite by accident. It is distressing to think of how many great writers like Sijie Dai we miss because of their lack of access to the media blitz given to other authors by their publishing giants.

This is a lovely, quiet, seemingly simple book. It has the feel of a parable, though it is not. The novel’s disarming simplicity, however, holds greater themes. Among them: political and personal suppression, duplicity and honesty, love gained and lost and the power of the written word to change lives.

Balzac and The Little Chinese Seamstress gives us a glimpse into China during the 1940’s Revolution. It was a violent, irrational time in which intellectuals were punished for being more well-educated and cultured than the proletariat. Two boys, scholars and sons of a physician and a dentist (subversives!) first are subjected to the humiliation of their families and then are sent to the mountains to be “re-educated.” This education consisted, among other things, of backbreaking work, isolation and lack of all but the most basic resources.

Yet, Dai’s light touch and humor make this easy, uncomplicated reading.

A glimmer of hope comes for the boys with two things, meeting a lovely young girl, a seamstress, from a nearby village and the discovery of a hidden cache of books. The impact of these two events is pivotal. We become invested in the boy’s ability to not only survive but find a way to grow. 

Because Dai himself spent time being re-educated in this way, though written as fiction, I suspect much of this novel is based on his own experience. Dai pays homage to the invincibility of the human spirit in a beautiful, uncontrived way.

Highly Recommend.